http://www.civilwarrifles.net/civil-war-rifles/can-you-guys-read-my-history-essay.html Battles, Weapons and Casualties Sun, 28 Feb 2010 03:18:16 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 http://www.civilwarrifles.net/civil-war-rifles/can-you-guys-read-my-history-essay.html/comment-page-1#comment-541 sarabeth Sat, 27 Jun 2009 20:24:16 +0000 http://www.civilwarrifles.net/civil-war-rifles/can-you-guys-read-my-history-essay.html#comment-541 Eh... it's alright, but it needs some work. You really should vary the sentence structure, you can use semi colons and commas followed by one of the FANBOYS (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so) to give the sentences some variety and not make the essay sound so choppy. It's boring to read sentence after sentence that have the same exact structure. Not every sentence needs to start the same or follow the same pattern. Also, I think you need to add more information, when writing an essay, you need to write it as if the person you're writing it for has no idea what you are talking about. Eh… it’s alright, but it needs some work. You really should vary the sentence structure, you can use semi colons and commas followed by one of the FANBOYS (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so) to give the sentences some variety and not make the essay sound so choppy. It’s boring to read sentence after sentence that have the same exact structure. Not every sentence needs to start the same or follow the same pattern.
Also, I think you need to add more information, when writing an essay, you need to write it as if the person you’re writing it for has no idea what you are talking about.

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